While learning to write family metaphor poems, students will build writing skills as they paint vivid pictures in their readers' minds. By using the writing process and modeling, teachers can guide students as they learn to write effective metaphors about their own families.
Examples of Metaphor Poems
In order to write a metaphor poem, students need to see examples of poems that are metaphors in their entirety, as well as poems that include metaphors. Such poems include Robert Frost's, Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening and Robert Louis Stevenson's, The Highway Man.
After creating a variety of phrases that develop a clear concept of metaphors, students can use the following family metaphor poem as an example of the poem's format, noting how each family member's personality compares to a component of A Perfect Paragraph:
"A Perfect Paragraph"
My family is a paragraph
My direct dad is the topic sentence, getting to the point and keeping everyone else on track
My helpful older sister is a detail, always supporting the family
My organized brother is the sequence, keeping everything in order
My younger sister, the prima donna, is the descriptive words, sometimes a little flowery, but usually, precisely what the family needs
My mom is the transition, the glue that holds us all together
I am the closing sentence, the decisive clincher of the family
Each member of my perfect family paragraph has a unique responsibility that helps us function as a whole
Prewriting a Metaphor Poem
The teacher should begin by modeling a list of many, varied, and unusual adjectives to describe each of her own family members. As she models, it is important for her to think aloud.
Afterwards, the teacher should discuss collective nouns, as well as other nouns that include parts that are vital to the whole. The teacher can begin a list and then have students assist. The class should brainstorm plenty of ideas, so that there are enough nouns for each student to select a different topic. Beside each noun, the class can add a few of the vital components.
- Airport – hangar, runway, planes, control tower
- Garden – rose, petunia, fertilizer, soil (some families may even have a few weeds)
- Weather map – tornado, thunderstorm, highs and lows
- Watch – minute hand, batteries, face, band
Next, the teacher and students think about their own families and decide on the collective noun that best fits the members. Then, using their descriptions, they decide which component of the collective noun most closely resembles each family member. At this point, students will probably need to brainstorm more components by using the Internet and talking to peers..
As teachers model and think aloud, it is important that they use both examples and non-examples. The teacher might start comparing her family to a playground, but when that doesn't quite fit, she might switch to a school.
Teaching Students to Draft a Metaphor Poem
As the teacher drafts her family poem, she needs to continue to think aloud. As she writes, she can use the following questions as a guideline:
- Does the poem flow?
- Is the language precise?
- Are the images of each family member clear?
- Does strong emotion show the reader a vivid picture?
At this point, analyzing another example will help students as they began to draft their own poems.
"My Solar Family"
My family is a solar system circulating through life like objects in the Milky Way
My caring mom is the illuminating sun, the one everyone looks up to
I am the earth, abundant with life and energy
My cold hearted sister is Neptune, orbiting in a path far from the warmth of the sun
My baby brother is space junk, bombarding us with unforeseen bits and pieces of unwanted objects
My hot tempered brother is Mercury, developing a storm when forced to do things
My oldest sibling is a comet, sometimes glowing brightly, but more often than not, far from sight
My father is the gravity that holds each part of my solar family in its place
As we go our separate ways, the members of my family solar system still need to circulate around each other in order to function at their best
After reading this poem, students should discuss what they like and what they wish the author had done differently. They need to talk in terms of effective writing by discussing purpose, audience, voice, and supporting details.
Revising, Editing, and Publishing
The teacher can have students revise by using the acronym ARMS. To make their poems flow more smoothly and paint a vivid image, they may need to Add, Remove, Move, or Substitute words or ideas. Using a thesaurus for rich, precise language is important. Since the poem is short, each word must show exactly what the author intends.
Next, students can edit by using the acronym CUPS, correcting for proper Capitals, Usage, Punctuation, and Spelling.
As students revise and edit, they will benefit from working with peers. Partners should discuss what they like, as well as what they wish the author would improve. As a home learning activity, the teacher can use a post-it note with her own likes and wishes for the author. At home, students can use a colored pen to revise and edit, so their corrections are readily apparent the following day in class.
To publish the family metaphor poems, students can write a final polished copy and then create BBB (Big, Bold, Beautiful) pictures to illustrate their poems. For conference time or family night, teachers can compile the poems into a book or use the poems and illustrations to decorate classroom walls.
By modeling, using examples and non-examples, and following the writing process, teachers can help students write family metaphor poems that paint vivid images for readers. Furthermore, students can take the skills they learn from this experience and use them in their future writing endeavors.
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